Parent Points: How to Talk to your Kids about a School Shooting
From Jennifer Dryden, First Presbyterian Day School Counselor, Jackson, MS:
“As are all of us, I am deeply disturbed by the events that took place yesterday in Nashville at Covenant School. Several families have reached out, asking for guidance as to how to talk with our children about these heinous acts.”
Some important points to remember:
You want to be the source of the information they receive. Your children need to know you are a safe person to talk to, and that you will answer their questions truthfully.
Spend time listening to your kids. They will reveal what is bothering them when we spend time and listen to them.
Speak truth in love. Healthy emotional and spiritual development occurs when we have honest, age-appropriate conversations with our children.
Don’t ignore their questions, but also don’t force them to talk about it.
Limit exposure to the media.
Give your children practical steps that can help, like praying for those affected and sending notes of encouragement to those involved.
Let your children know the things that are being done to keep them safe, even if you can’t guarantee them that no harm will come to them.
Discuss that everyone has the freedom to choose between good and evil, and sometimes a person’s evil choice affects others. However, assure your children that God is still sovereign over evil and can use it for His ultimate good and glory.
Praise the Lord that when we are in Christ one day all suffering will end!
From Daystar Counseling Ministries, Nashville, TN:
As you all likely know by now, the Covenant School experienced a tragedy on Monday just 3 miles from Daystar. Some of our counselors and staff were able to go to the family reunification center within an hour to pass out snacks and feelings charts with our pet therapists, sit with children processing while they waited to be reunited with their families, and share simple tips with parents on how to begin talking to their kids. We continue to work closely with the Covenant administration, a group of leaders we have long loved and respected in our community.
If there’s one thing we saw Monday, it was the incredible love in the Covenant school community. As our staff sat in the reunification center, we saw the love of the teachers for their students, the love of the kids for their classmates & the love of our city for the Covenant community.
Our staff continues to be involved with the Covenant School. Now begins the long, patient work of helping hurting kids and broken families find hope and healing. Our directors are speaking to Covenant parents this evening and our counselors are offering counseling both at Covenant gatherings and also daily at the Daystar house.
How to talk to your kids about a school shooting
By: Sissy Goff, Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries
1. Stay calm.
2. Be the source.
3. Let them lead.
4. Give them space to feel.
5. It’s okay to feel with them, not to process with them.
6. Answer questions age-appropriately and honestly.
7. Talk about what they can control.
8. Look for the helpers. Be one.
9. Ask what would help them feel safe at school.
10. Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers.
11. Remind them of truth you know.
To see a helpful video, posted by Sissy Goff, visit her Facebook page.
We continue to pray for those affected, both at Covenant School as well as families around the country, grieving this tragedy.
With our love and prayers,
Parents & Kids Team
