Positive Body Image for Children and Teens

Children’s opinions of their bodies form at a young age; even preschoolers learn that society judges people by how they look. How do we ease our children’s difficult journey to love themselves, recognize that all bodies are good bodies, and acknowledge and respect their own natural shapes?

Sydnie Watts is a kindergarten teacher at L. C. Hatcher Elementary School in Lucedale.

“I have noticed some children are very self-conscious of their bodies even at five years old,” she noted. “You can tell what families speak negatively about others’ bodies and weight, because these children tend to bully others about appearance.”

Cieara Watts Roberts teaches second grade, also at L. C. Hatcher Elementary School.

“I already have little girls say they are ‘fat’ or little boys that are upset because they are shorter than others,” Roberts said. “So many children have access to social media and already are forming ideas of what ‘perfect’ looks like.”

Roberts designed an “affirmation station” on the back of her classroom door. It is a mirror with 14 pronouncements that each pupil looks at each day, before they leave the schoolroom.

“We focus on all the ‘cool’ things that our bodies can do…run, play, laugh, dance,” she said. “We discuss that if we all looked exactly the same, how boring our classroom would be. We were created to be ourselves, not anyone else.”

Maggie Ferguson is a junior at George County High School in Lucedale. Her smile lights up a room. Maggie is the president of her class, and student council vice-president. She is the leader of two Bible studies. Her family of origin is large, and in her immediate family, she has two younger brothers and two younger sisters.

“We are all very close, and our favorite thing to do as a family is to travel to a new destination each year,” she explained. “Even as a young child, I struggled with my body image. It is something that haunts me to this day.” She finds herself constantly counting calories, and fearing certain foods.

“This poison of comparison, I have come to realize, steals so much of my joy, and I strive to ignore it,” she said, explaining how she focuses instead on her Christian faith. “I also realized it is okay not to be perfect all the time.”

Ferguson’s mom told her it is okay if she is not able to be valedictorian, the best class president, the sweetest person, or the fittest. This releases pressure from her life and encourages her to simply take care of her body and listen to it.

She runs cross country, helping her to have a good physique.

“Cross country is a sport that allows me to stay in shape,” she said. “Running allows me to do something for myself that brings my mind peace through self-discipline.” She also plays the piano, allowing creativity in a beautiful way.

In March 2023, Maggie was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women of George County program, a production that primarily focuses on “being one’s best self,” building confidence in young girls, and helping them develop opinions of the world around them. Contestants compete in an interview portion, self-expression questionnaire, talent and fitness.

Danielle King, a fitness instructor for eight years, loves working with teenage girls to instill consciousness of health and wellness.

“I believe to cultivate a strong sense of confidence in young girls, we must first make sure their value and self-worth will never come from the way they look,” King said, adding that talking negatively about a child’s current diet is “not beneficial.” She believes if we constantly talk about things in a negative way (diets, exercise, and our bodies), our kids will adopt the same feelings. She advises to simply let teens hear how parents promote healthy habits, and hear the benefits of eating wholesome foods, so that their bodies feel well and move well. Don’t speak of being too heavy, or of forbidden foods.

“Since we live in a fast-paced social media-ridden world, I believe our kids need parents to constantly reinforce that the internet is a highlight reel for influencers,” King said. Curated, edited, and posed photos should not be the standard young adults set for themselves. “If parents aren’t reminding their teens of that often, they tend to fall into the trap of comparison with photos that aren’t real.”

“There are plenty of ways to give a genuine compliment to your teen without it being about how they look,” King said. We can tell them how kind they are, how hard they work, how well they speak to adults, how we’re proud of them for being a good friend.

“The list is endless,” King added. Remind our children and teens that they are complex beings with unique gifts.

If you feel your child is struggling with a healthy body image, consider talking to your child’s primary health provider or a mental health professional.

Writer, Mary C. Fairley is a wife, mother and grandmother. She is a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi and a retired Medical Technologist. Mary lives in Lucedale with her husband, Buddy.