Magnolia Mama: Mother’s Day: Write Your Own Story

It’s that time of year again. Stores are inundated with reminders of how to recognize and appreciate the love, sacrifice and leadership of our moms and mother figures on Mother’s Day. 

We celebrate these amazing women with flowers, cards, chocolate, hugs and laughter. When you’re a child, you prepare for Mother’s Day in school by making homemade cards and gifts that express gratitude for the mother in your life. Once you’re a mom with your own children, you are also celebrated with homemade tokens of love reminding you that you are appreciated. 

Mother’s Day also allows moms everywhere to give pause, and thank our own mothers for everything they did for us. We now understand the love, worry and sacrifice that goes into caring for a child.

Motherhood is beautiful and joyous…and it’s also hard.

Messy. 

Exhausting. 

It’s one of the most humbling – and worst paying – jobs you’ll ever have. Moms work tirelessly, and constantly put themselves last behind the needs of the rest of their family.

Women’s lives are forever changed when we leave the hospital with a tiny, helpless human for which we’re 100-percent responsible. Our world now revolves around this child, and focuses less on ourselves and our own needs. With all this new responsibility and stress, relationships can suffer, whether they’re with our partners or our friends. 

This new life also causes us to be in a constant state of trying to catch up on work, housework, and most importantly, sleep. We need and deserve Mother’s Day to remind us that our family is paying attention to our neverending workload and is aware of how much we love and care for each family member. We have earned this holiday, and it should be celebrated.

Unfortunately, however, Mother’s Day isn’t a cause for celebration for everyone. For some, it’s a day of painful reminders. The loss of a child. Infertility. The loss of a mother. Trauma caused by a painful relationship with one’s mother. For some, this day can also bring great confusion and sadness over a strained relationship with one of her own children. 

For these people, Mother’s Day can stir up feelings of grief, sadness or even depression. These are emotions most of us have experienced at some point, but can sometimes remain difficult to discuss and process.

Many of us know someone who struggles on Mother’s Day. We should let them know we’re thinking about them, and are available if needed. If you are someone who struggles each year on this day, in my opinion, you should allow yourself to feel your emotions and share what you’re experiencing with friends and family.

There is a cultural narrative about how we are supposed to celebrate Mother’s Day, and what it means to be a good mother. However, I think we each need to instead write our own narrative, a unique story of what motherhood and Mother’s Day means to us as individuals.

We are all in this motherhood experience together, and what better day to show our support for one another than on Mother’s Day.