Making Marriage a Priority
“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride”
Those magical words, a blushing bride, and a teary groom waltz down the aisle in the traditional ceremony after committing their lives to each other. Oftentimes, family and friends gather to celebrate this union of two lives. Those words are life-altering words of commitment and selflessness. With parents busier than ever, how can we prioritize a marriage? Local Lifeworks marriage counselor, Roe Hunter, outlined it simply and clearly.
1. Change your attitude and belief about marriage. She is not here to serve you and he is not your project.
2. Learn to communicate your wants and needs in healthy ways. Make requests, not criticisms.
3. Adopt a holistic approach to your marriage, meaning how I take care of my finances, my body, my children, my emotional and spiritual life directly affects my spouse.
4. Make boundaries abundantly clear. And then respect those boundaries.
5. Make trust and commitment the pillars that keep your house together. Love is the foundation that sometimes will need repairing, but love keeps a roof over your head.
6. To make marriage a priority, you have to have fun! Mandate dates! Go out, do life, and share experiences with each other.
Associate counselor with Lifeworks, Leah Hunter says that making marriage a priority is a choice. She further explained how each person has to make a conscious decision every day to serve their partner. If there are things taking away from a marriage, it is because one or the other spouse has chosen to let them. Hunter describes how many times people allow things to overshadow their marriage which is often a symptom of another underlying issue. She goes on to explain that regardless of what is going on in our lives, we must choose everyday to prioritize our marriage. “We are first and foremost wives or husbands and then parents, business owners, volunteers, or CEO’s,” Hunter says.
When asked how one Jackson resident makes hermarriage a priority, Elise Gomez married for 39 years said, “Time for communication with your spouse, truly with him or her even if short without interruptions from phones or other devices, is of greatest priority. Second come the kids and job. The biggest mistake I see women make once they have kids is to let kids’ activities take over any hope of time with their spouse.”
Jackson resident, Carly Nipper, who has been married for a little over one year said she has learned that life’s daily and mundane tasks can build up a marriage when done together. The couple just had a new baby and both work. Although their lives are busy, Justin and Carly take turns changing diapers at night and do household chores together. Carly said, “We work as a team, which is what marriage is all about. We make sure to constantly build one another up and remind each other that each day with our new baby is just a phase, whether it’s good or bad, it’s just a phase so enjoy it! It’s easy to get wrapped up in all things baby and forget that I really did marry my best friend.”
Marriage is a gift and a responsibility. It is a beautiful learning experience and one of life’s most incredible journeys but we all must remember to make it a priority and most importantly, don’t forget to have some fun!
By Morgan Howard